WHY I FIGHT

I was asked to contribute an entry for my new favorite cause: Fight The New Drug.

http://www.fightthenewdrug.org/Blog/Blog-Detail/WHY-

I-FIGHT--Rachel/

This is why I fight:

Growing up in a conservative family, I was sheltered when it came to the appearance and pervasiveness of pornography. I knew from school that there were guys looking at naked women in magazines on our choir trips, and I'm sure even more magazines were hidden under their beds at home. Other than the sexual innuendos in movies that everyone watched, and the XXX adult bookstore in our city, that I'm sure only 'really bad people' went to, I was pretty unaware of what was available.

Later in college I became more aware of the prevalence and addictive nature of porn. I knew about internet filters, and heard of people losing their jobs after finding material on their work computers. I heard about marriages ending because guys couldn't leave the stuff alone. I thought an 'addict' was someone who was pretty out of control, and hoped I wouldn't ever be married to someone who had any signs of getting involved in it. I didn't want to deal with all of the emotional consequences that would come from that kind-of addiction, so I avoided the 'creepers' who would pick up pornography.

I directly applied my perception of pornography to the people who participate in it. Ugly, bad, perverted, disgusting, pathetic, worthless, creepy, and those who used it as people I'd never want to associate with.

Then the face of pornography users changed for me. Three times.

I dated a guy who had been highly addicted to pornography in his youth and early adulthood. He was one of the top writers of erotic literature at age 15. He was deeply entrenched in pornographic literature, videos, and images which affected his sexual life. He gave up every involvement in pornography three years ago. Was he a creeper? A bad guy? A freak? This man is one of the most incredible people I know. His character is admirable, his personality good and kind and generous. His general disposition is beatific, and free of that dark and secret addiction. This man is free.

The second guy I came in contact with that admitted to me his involvement in pornography was still overcoming his struggle. My vocabulary changed. I took a phrase from Tony Horton, the P90X fitness guy, "Don't say 'I Can't,' say 'I currently struggle with." I was now seeing "porn users" as "people who currently struggle with the addiction – Pornography." I have a great respect and admiration for this guy. He was so open about the issue, and so clear to separate the person from the addiction. He no longer believed that he was intrinsically messed up, but realized that his choice was tripping him up in all aspects of his life. He worked with an addiction recovery program to rid his life of porn, recognize the reasons and tendencies that led to it's involvement, and to understand it as the deceptive counterfeit that it is. "It was never about sex for me. I viewed pornography because I was looking for something to be filled- boredom, loneliness, intimacy, connection, etc." He told me about a t-shirt that says, "I'm not IT." Whatever IT is, it's separate from what we are, and therefore it's manageable, treatable, we can dig it up destroy it before it destroys us.

My last example was the story of Seth. His video can be found on the FTND website. I think a lot of people can relate to his story. Just a good guy who picked up some crappy stuff that tripped up different areas of his life and his relationships. I've met Seth and I can tell from the video and from his disposition that he is reaping the blissful benefits of a life free from addiction.

These people changed the way I look at recovering addicts and former users of pornography. And these people are all around us.

I like the way Fight The New Drug approaches this issue. Educating with science, facts, and personal accounts, I want to help people see what it is doing to their lives, their relationships, and our society, so that we decrease the demand for the industry.

Those who understand what pornography is capable of realize it's an uncomfortable topic. But it breeds in privacy and secrecy. We need to start talking about it. Gone are the days when people are oblivious to it's presence, and free from it's effects in their families, communities, and society. We all need to embrace people, and treat pornography as an addiction. When you shine the light of understanding and education on the issue, it's much easier to fight for people that we care about who are involved in it.

I'll always fight it.

-Rachel